Remember when one of the biggest dilemmas facing you when dating as a teenager was whether or not to kiss your date goodnight?
If you saw the television show Boston Public November 13th on Fox, you saw a teenage girl trade oral sex for votes in a class election. According to the story line there were three classmates (two guys, one girl) in which one of the boys clearly had a majority of the votes while the remaining girl and boy cancelled each other out. However, with the 2nd boy out of the running, the girl was thrown into the lead. To influence him to drop out of the race, she offered to drop to her knees. He readily accepted. Everything went according to plan until a teacher witnessed the deal being consummated. When the girl was confronted by the administration she seemed shocked that it was considered taboo. It’s not like we were having sex she explained. When her parents were brought in to make them aware, the mother defiantly proclaimed, my daughter doesn’t even know what that is.
Wake up parents. Your daughter, your son… knows what oral sex is. What they don’t know… oral sex is just that… SEX. The reality is more and more kids across America are engaging in oral sex with the carefree attitude that the act is little more than heavy petting. Teenage girls who are labeled as promiscuous if they have intercourse are considered mainstream if they have oral sex. Teenagers believe the advantages of oral sex are many including no worry of pregnancy or risk of AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s). There is also the belief that it keeps virginity in tact. Teenagers today, are wrong.
Now we can sit back on our laurels and blame President Clinton for this spin-doctor’s interpretation of oral sex as not being sex at all. The truth is that parents aren’t that stupid and neither are our teens. Regardless of your moral or religious views on what sex is or isn’t doesn’t concern me. What concerns me is that our teens are viewing oral sex as a safe method to express themselves sexually without any risk. Nothing could be further than truth. And if you thought it was difficult discussing the birds and bees with your kids when all you thought needed to be covered was basic penetration, try updating your chalk talk to include oral sex. It sounds next to impossible but it’s clear that our culture is sending the wrong message to our kids. Parents have to clear up the misinformation.
The NBC television show recently ran an episode in which a young lady was diagnosed with gonorrhea in her throat. She had only participated in oral sex and considered herself a virgin. There are studies out which show a dramatic increase in the number of cases involving oral herpes and gonorrhea of the pharynx in teenagers. There is further documentation which supports that oral sex is showing up in middle age school children in addition to older teens. If you only have sons don’t think this does not apply to you. Recent statistics suggest the numbers of teens having oral sex to be about equal among boys and girls.
Parents, talk to your kids. If you are uncomfortable enlist the help of a professional counselor to lead the discussion. Our kids need to understand that there are risks associated with having oral sex. No, you will not become pregnant. Virginity? I’ll leave that discussion alone since clearly arguments can be made both ways. Disease? You bet your life there is risk of disease. In fact, if your kids are participating in oral sex they are doing just that… betting their lives.
Mike Gowen
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